My head hurts.
I drank too much.
Cold!
We're with Maid Cafe Cozy.
Please stop by.
We hope you'll visit.
Man... my lower back hurts.
Stomach Medicine
Today we're running the integration test on that program, huh?
Dragons.
The most powerful creatures there are.
An imaginary creation that breathes fire, flies, and sometimes uses magic.
Tada!
Or... so I thought.
Good morning, Miss Kobayashi.
Horns. Tails. Illusion? Where from? Dragon. Cosplay. Real? Lack of Sleep? Delusion? Stranger. Girl. Maid. Will she eat me? Who? Greeting me? Speaking. I'll be eaten. Too tired?
Dream
Good morning.
Would it be all right to come in?
Oh, sure, come inside.
-Working Adult's Response-
So we met yesterday, and I offered to let you stay here?
Miss Kobayashi
Uh, Tohru-san? That's what I said?
Yes!
Tohru
Strange. I'm not waking up from this dream.
It's not a dream?
No, no...
Um...
Where did we meet?
The mountains!
We met in the mountains!
The mountains?
Mountains...
In the mountains...
A dragon?
Then...
Uh...
Dragonslayer
Want to come to my place?
I'll never forget those kind words!
Please allow me to start working here as your maid!
You can't.
Huh?
I don't know if you're a dragon or whatever, but I'm not planning on hiring anyone.
I-I wouldn't need any pay!
No, that's not the problem...
I can be useful!
Fire Curse
I can turn this entire area into a sea of fire, or curse people to death!
No, no, no!
Though, why a maid?
Because you said a maid would be best!
I did?
Oh, right.
I'm sorry I made a promise I can't keep.
But I hope you'll understand...
I can't change the impossible.
It's absolutely impossible?
Yeah, I'm sorry.
Understood.
My apologies as well, for dropping in so suddenly.
Want to come to my place?
I can't erase this guilt.
It's not a dream?
If it's not a dream, then...
Shift Starts 9:00
I'm late?!
Tohru!
Can you fly?!
Super fast!
Huh? What'd you say?
You're damn fast!
I guess I'll hire her.
Really?!
So you can hear me.
Maybe it won't be so bad to have someone around from now on.
Thinking that way—
This really hits my lower back.
Ahem.
First, let's see what you consider proper form for a maid.
Very well!
Maid Cafe Cozy
Here you go.
Maid Cafe Cozy
Maid Cafe Cozy.
What's this?
I saw it on the way here.
Looks like I'll have to teach you from scratch.
First, as a housemaid, you clean!
I'm good at cleaning!
How's that?!
What are you doing destroying it?!
Now I bring it back.
You can bring it back?!
Next! Laundry maid!
You do laundry!
I can handle that, too!
I can produce saliva that only removes stains
I can produce saliva that only removes stains.
That's filthy! Be mindful of appearances!
Next! Parlour maid!
You entertain guests.
Please leave it to me!
Delivery. Please sign here.
We have nothing for foolish, inferior humans like you!
Hey!
Oh, you're an exception of course, Miss Kobayashi!
Last one! Kitchen maid!
You cook!
I'm the best at that!
Here's my roasted tail!
No way.
Huh?
No way.
Wha?!
Should I have roasted it longer?
That's not the problem.
I'm confident you'll enjoy it, Miss Kobayashi!
It doesn't work ethically or physiologically.
Oh, I see. So you're a picky eater, then?
You're biased.
Jeez, you're hopeless.
It grew back?!
It took time to remove the poison, you know!
It's poisonous?!
Hmm, you don't even know the basics of being a maid.
I'll learn from the ground up!
First, please tell me what you dislike!
What I dislike?
I'm no good with hijiki or eggplant.
I see. I'll remember that.
By the way, I dislike eggs without yolks myself.
My friend, Herensuge, was hit with one and killed.
That's surreal.
Wait, why are you asking about my dislikes?
Wouldn't you usually ask what I like?
Oh, I can't do that.
Many of my friends were actually slain using the things they like.
Like liquor, women, gems, and such.
Not much different from humans.
But I'll let you know this one.
I love you, Miss Kobayashi!
Are you planning to eat me?
I don't mean that way! I mean sexually!
I'm a woman, though?
You saved me, Miss Kobayashi!
So I'll use my entire being to repay the favor!
I'd like you to use me to commute to work again tomorrow!
I had enough of that today. You're hard.
Please give me a chance!
I was raised to repay all favors, even if owed to foolish, inferior humans!
You said "foolish, inferior" again.
Tohru. There's a reason I won't use you to commute.
Your lower back?
That's half the reason.
The other half is...
You stand out!
I think dragons are better left holding down the fort!
Holding the fort?!
You're one of the stronger dragons, right, Tohru?
Strong enough to bring about Armageddon.
Don't bring it about.
The world's more dangerous lately.
It'll be a relief to know you're here keeping the house safe.
Understood! Leave it to me!
Simple-gon.
Well, I'm off to the office.
If anybody calls, please answer.
Calls?
Oh, right.
This is a phone.
When it rings, pick it up like this.
Then...
Understood!
Okay, take care.
Have a safe trip!
Holding the fort?
What were those people doing anyway?
I guess I'll ask Fafnir-san.
Kill them.
Kill all who try to steal your treasure.
Kill all you suspect.
Kill them with curses.
Curse their generations to come—
That's helpful!
All right, time to do my best to earn Miss Kobayashi's praise!
The person living here is away at this hour.
Let's finish this quickly.
There.
Protect us!
We saw one!
Saw what?
A monster!
I'm home.
Welcome home!
Hold the fort down well?
I was lonely.
Hmm.
I didn't get to kill them either.
Mhmm. Wait, what?!
The Strongest Maid in History, Tohru! (Well, She is a Dragon)
Episode 1
Kobayashi-san.
What is it, Takiya-kun?
Takiya Makoto
Want to go drinking tonight?
Well, maybe for one round.
There are plenty of other girls you could ask.
You're like one of the guys, though.
Why you...
That girl's looking our way. Someone you know?
I'm Kobayashi Tohru!
I'm a maid living with Miss Kobayashi every day.
She's one of my relatives, and I'm looking after her.
I'm Takiya Makoto, her coworker.
Nice to meet you, Tohru-chan.
Nice to meet you, too.
We were just talking about going for drinks together.
This man is trying to seduce Miss Kobayashi.
Would you like to come, too, Tohru-chan?
Wait, are you old enough to drink?
I won't allow it!
Yes, I can drink, stultus.
stultus = Latin, fool
Stul?
A round after work's the best!
Miss Kobayashi's so cute!
Huh? You're not drinking any liquor, Tohru?
No.
I see. Well, you can drink what you like.
I don't intend to share drinks with you.
Still, what do I do about this man?
The laws are strict in this world, too.
Right!
Man, still, today's work was rough, wasn't it?
I can show off how close me and Miss Kobayashi are!
Key Performance, Cycle Process, Rewrites, Iterations, Revisions, Solutions, Alpha Tests, Source Level Compatibility, Anti-Pattern, Steering Committee, Transaction Division, Project Management, Development Processes, Frontloading, Metrics, Spiral Models, Evidence, Coders, Dumps, Crashing, Spaghetti Code, Cutovers, Moderation
We're only secondary or tertiary subcontractors, so what can we do?
Key Performance, Cycle Process, Rewrites, Iterations, Revisions, Solutions, Alpha Tests, Source Level Compatibility, Anti-Pattern, Steering Committee, Transaction Division, Project Management, Development Processes, Frontloading, Metrics, Spiral Models, Evidence, Coders, Dumps, Crashing, Spaghetti Code, Cutovers, Moderation
But when we follow their exact directions, it always causes failures, right?
And if we don't point it out, the developers don't notice either.
Key Performance, Cycle Process, Rewrites, Iterations, Revisions, Solutions, Alpha Tests, Source Level Compatibility, Anti-Pattern, Steering Committee, Transaction Division, Project Management, Development Processes, Frontloading, Metrics, Spiral Models, Evidence, Coders, Dumps, Crashing, Spaghetti Code, Cutovers, Moderation
That's why correcting that is part of our job.
Key Performance, Cycle Process, Rewrites, Iterations, Revisions, Solutions, Alpha Tests, Source Level Compatibility, Anti-Pattern, Steering Committee, Transaction Division, Project Management, Development Processes, Frontloading, Metrics, Spiral Models, Evidence, Coders, Dumps, Crashing, Spaghetti Code, Cutovers, Moderation
I know that, I'm just complaining about them foisting their problems on us.
It's common for schedules to be based on people taking on more roles. Common.
I can't follow what they're saying at all...
Speak Dragon, please.
Ah, I'm sorry, Tohru-chan.
It's hard for you to join in the conversation, right?
Th-The level's so low I don't feel like joining in, that's all!
Ah.
Let's talk more about Ragnarok and Armageddon!
Huh?!
Besides, I've had enough of this!
Time to use force!
I'll kill you, then leave you out to feed the jackals!
Miss Kobayashi?
Tohru!
Maids don't talk like that!
She's drunk!
First of all, what's with your maid uniform?
Gripe
Are you underestimating maids?
Braid your hair and put it in a cap.
We've got enough french maids. That's just cosplay now.
Here it comes!
T-Takiya-san?!
Kobayashi-dono!
I agree Tohru-tan's a cosplay-level maid!
She's just like those foreigners pretending to be ninja or samurai!
That's right!
I'll acknowledge the cuteness of the Gothic lolita trend,
but that draws a clear line as local fashion!
Exactly! While lolita and maid fashion may acknowledge one another,
they should be more careful about blending together!
In the first place, maid costumes like hers spread throughout Japan because...
This has gone beyond joining or not joining the conversation.
Hey, Tohru!
We're giving you some high-level maid conversations, so talk. Got it?
I-I'm sorry.
Tohru-tan, those horns of yours really raise the cosplay level, too...
I'm a dragon, so I don't know what you're talking about.
Strip.
Huh?
Strip!
Huh?
Hide them!
Hide your breasts and loins!
Acting embarrassed when you're stripped is part of proper behavior!
Y-Yes!
Not enough embarrassment!
Show us what you're made of!
H-Humans are terrifying!
Bring more liquor and maids!
Victorian maids!
I'm sorry, Tohru-chan.
I usually go drinking with Kobayashi-san to chat about maids.
I'm secretly an otaku, so outings like this are very precious to me.
Yes, I understand.
In exchange, I'll be surprising you a bit.
We'll say I drank too much.
You really like Kobayashi-san, huh?
Yes.
Though I hate you.
So humans all soil their clothes with waste products?
Inferior species!
Miss Kobayashi's waste...
Hmm, none left.
I told you before, didn't I?
Stop licking the laundry.
Yes.
From now on I'll handle it by licking you directly, Miss Kobayashi.
Don't lick me.
Also, there's the way you do laundry!
Am I doing it wrong?
You are!
Try listing the steps for doing laundry.
Yes.
First, I use my clairvoyance to check inside your pockets.
Okay.
Then I separate them into plain and patterned piles,
Hurry up and finish!
and wash them using separate detergents.
Good.
Then I wash the delicate fabrics by mouth.
Hey!
I told you, I produce saliva that removes stains.
No!
I told you appearances are important!
Ah, so you mean I should do it like this?
That's not the problem here!
Also, Tohru!
You're always wearing the same uniform, aren't you?
You can't. You need to change, too.
But these are my scales.
Scales?!
Yes, so I don't need to change.
Oh, I see.
What's the matter?
Oh, well.
I bought you some personal clothes, anyway.
Thank you very much!
Well, you are doing a lot for me, so I wanted to thank you.
Ah...
Miss Kobayashi, would you like a sacrifice later?
Would you like to drink my fresh blood?
Am I a demon?!
Heavens no! You're an angel!
Oh, but please don't start serving God.
Just try it on.
Oh!
Well?
The chest is...
Tight
Tohru, what size are you?
D! For dragon!
There you go learning stupid things.
Oh, it's already time?
Well, Tohru, use the Internet to study up on hygiene practices until I get home.
The Internet?
Oh, right.
Hygiene practices
Japan's Hygiene Practices
Values (Cleanliness)
Hygiene in Daily Life
Oh!
You look it up like this.
Understood!
All right, I'm heading off.
Have a safe trip.
Now, then.
Hygiene in Daily Life
This site records a special discussion by food manufacturers growing food in our nation. The daily life and rearing of children is also... >Read More
Assurance and Health in People's Everyday Lives
What are Hygiene Practices?
Definition of Hygiene Practices. What is Hygiene? Definition, Synonyms.
Cleanliness vs uncleanliness. What is good for human health? >Read More
Hmm, I still don't quite get it.
I'll ask Fafnir-san again.
Kill th—
Let's not.
I'll ask knowledgeable Quetzalcoatl instead.
Hello, Lucoa-san?
Tohru-kun? It's been a while.
Actually, blah blah, yadda yadda.
Mhmm...
That's not a problem of clean or filthy, no.
Huh?
You remember Nidhogg-kun, right?
Umm, the one gnawing a tree's roots all year long?
The world tree's, yeah.
No matter how much Nidhogg-kun's poisonous fangs pollute it,
the goddesses purify it, so the tree stays clean. But...
Yes?
What happens to the spots he gnaws?
Ah...
I think he still leaves something behind. Like a curse or something.
Yeah, that's right.
This Miss Kobayashi you speak of is worried about that.
I see now! Thank you very much!
Tohru-kun,
are you having fun living with people?
Yes!
The laundry won't dry at this rate, will it?
All right.
That Tohru...
I guess I still need to teach her a lot of things.
What?
That breath...
I found you.
Inhaling the scent's okay, right?
You don't need to sleep?
No. But I want to sleep with you, so I'll sleep!
Do as you please, then.
Yes, I will!
Well, good night.
Yes, good night.
It's cramped.
I can't?
Well, it's fine.
What's wrong?
I was fighting. In another world.
A sword ran through my body.
Did it hurt?
It hurt.
Does it still hurt?
It doesn't hurt now.
That's good, then.
Good night.
Welcome home, Miss Kobayashi.
Welcome home.
Hey, hey!
What are you looking at and studying?
Next Episode
Miss Kobayashi!
Tell me what you like this time!
Maids.
You mean me, then?
No, not so.
What else?
Peace.
So I'm enough for you!
Second Dragon, Kanna! (We're Totally Spoiling Here)
Episode 2
No, not that either.